Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
This changed me. I knew that if I honored God, then I needed to do what He says.
The Bible compares marriages with the second coming of Jesus (the groom) for His church (the bride) and the relationship between them. Honestly, I compare the state of my relationship with God with the state of my relationship with my husband.
-I was lost and he found me
-He patiently waited for me to change and choose life
-He suffered for me
-He gave me a new start
-He covered and overlooked my sins
-He treated me as a jewel
-He wants me for eternity
-We have a covenant
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,
I thought I knew my husband more than he knew me, until one day,
my children wanted to play a game called, “WHO KNOWS WHO MORE?”
I was so excited about this game. I thought I would win and put him to shame. I wanted him realize my anguish because I knew that he didn’t know anything about me.
The children brought us individually to different rooms and gave us two different papers with questions to respond. These are some examples of the questions:
1-Daddy’s favorite color?
2-Daddy’s favorite restaurant?
3-Daddy’s favorite food?
4-Daddy’s favorite place?
1-Mommy’s favorite color?
2-Mommy’s favorite restaurant?
3-Mommy’s favorite food?
4-Mommy’s favorite place?
Then they read the answers comparing what my husband said was his favorite things and what I said his favorite things were and vise versa.
His answers about me were all correct, but my answers about him were all wrong. They didn’t match. The children claimed him as the “WINNER” while I was boiling in anger and confusion. I couldn’t understand.
Later on that night as we went to sleep, I was still holding the loss of the game in my heart. I asked Shawn, “Why did you lie? I always thought that was your favorite color, or your favorite restaurant, or food or place?” His answer was like a sword that pierced my heart. I ran to the bathroom to cry and to ask God to help me.
Shawn said, “My favorite color is not brown, I wear a lot of brown shirts because you buy them for me. It’s your favorite color, not mine.
He continued, “We go a lot to that restaurant, not because its my favorite, but because you love it. I do all these things, and go all these places not because they are my favorites, but because all that I want to do is please YOU!”
I knew the answers about ME because they were all about me. However, I didn’t know my husband because that wasn’t important to me.
The same way we are with God. We are Christians, but do we really know Him as we should. This creates so much confusion in the Body of Christ. God wants us to know Him, so we can love Him for who He is.
Learn to know God and to know your husband. You’ll realize that there are better and more beautiful things that you didn’t discover yet. In the end, it is all about dying. Dying to our own flesh. Jesus died for us and we need to die to our flesh in him, so he can live through us. Christ wants us living a life that’s heaven here on earth through him.
His ways are better than our ways. He is PERFECT in all of His ways!!
As I listen to God by reading His word, I also have to listen to my husband. Many times, I was too busy to listen to what he was saying. On my mind I would think, why now? Are you serious? Doesn't he see me texting, or cleaning? So I'll act as if I was listening but in reality, I wasn’t. This produced many serious problems later. This would also open the door for lies. I lied by saying or acting as if I was listening, and/or I'll say, "you never told me that!"
The solution to this is SIMPLE - we have to stop doing what we're doing at the moment, or we can ask, "can we talk about this later?" Then keep it a priority.
It’s important to listen to our husband’s advice, ideas, and opinions. Then consider those before we do, say, or think of something. We can’t do anything behind their backs and then think that we’ll get away with it later by manipulating or lying to them. God won’t bless what we do without our husband’s agreement. It’s disobedience. It’s a curse that we bring into our marriage.
DON'T CONTROL YOUR HUSBAND'S WORDS, ACTIONS AND REACTIONS
Sometimes we think that we are better than our husband resolving problems and situations. We try to control our husband's words and actions. I realized that when a situation happened in our family and my husband took the responsibility to address it. My big mistake was telling my husband, say this or that...don't say this or that... or say it this way. We want our husbands to act, speak and think like us. Do you know how uncomfortable that is for them? We want to use them as our puppets, instead of leaving them alone. Let him resolve the problem the way he was created to do it.
Many times I kept silent and prayed when situations happened in our family. I just let my husband deal with it, the way he thinks is best. I do it trusting in God. I believe that God gives my husband wisdom because he cares for our family. This doesn't mean that my husband doesn't make mistakes, of course he does, but I give him my opinion and normally we always try to come to a solution together. When we do not agree with something, normally I get a little bit upset about it at first, then we pray and ask God for direction. He always does because He is faithful with those that put Him first in everything they do.
We can’t do this without God. We must put Him first in our individual lives and in our marriage. As Christians, we are responsible to represent the glory of God in our relationship as a married couple, as Christ’s relationship with his church.
Questions to answer for yourselves:
How’s my relationship with God, can I compare it with the state of my relationship with my husband?
Do I really know my husband and do I really know who God is?
What's my reaction when my husband disagrees with me?
Do I have to agree with every decision my husband makes?
Do I try or have tried to control my husband?
How can I listen to God and listen to my husband- What do I need to do?
TODAY’S SUBMISSION CHALLENGE
Spend time with God and write a list of things that you don’t know, not sure, or maybe you think that you know about God and about your husband. Then find out the correct answers. Ask questions. Use your bible.